who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize