Whod you bang
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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