just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
