Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize