you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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