some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
