I don't think brook has ever known best
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you never un-have a 4some
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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