With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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