he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
