Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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