I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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