Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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