a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I look better un-naked...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
