Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is my gift to your gina
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
