So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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