there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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