do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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