I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
