I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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