3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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