I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
