Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
