WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize