He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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