Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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