I heard we made out
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize