right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
