but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
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Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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