I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
