i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
