Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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