Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
