you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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