I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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