why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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