i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
