His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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