I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
