Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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