she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
