he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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