Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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