I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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