I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
