i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize