i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
