Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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