but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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