are you still at the devil's house?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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