I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
