He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
