I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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