Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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