I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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