Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
