There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So drunk its hurt
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
