Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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