Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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