You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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