whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
