Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
