It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
