There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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