If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
